Sure, new wave music legend Sting is revered for classic tunes like “Roxanne” and “Message in a Bottle,” but it’s his other claim to fame — his storied seven-hour sex sessions — that’s turned a new generation on to the Police-man. Holistic sex mentor Kim Anami says such legendary lovemaking doesn’t have to be reserved for an elite few, and mind-blowing, psychedelic, rock star sex is possible with some practice.
“A lot of people think of Tantra as extended sex, and it is that, but I guess it’s what also happens within that extended sex, where there’s a deeper level of connection, of intimacy, of pleasure, of rejuvenation, of the building of creative energy that they then take out into the world in their daily lives,” Anami explains.
Originating from ancient Indian traditions, Tantric sex is defined by WebMD as a practice dating back 5,000 years derived from the Sanskrit word Tantra, which means “woven together.”
Kim Anami Shares Her Position on Tantric Sex
Anami emphasizes Tantric sex has little to do with speed and more to do with a union. And it’s something that can be practiced with or without a partner.
“And so a Tantric-style relationship is rather than ‘How fast can we get to the end point?’ [it] is ‘How long can we make this last?’” Anami notes. “How long can we really exist in this feeling and space of ecstasy? It becomes like a psychedelic trip. I don’t do psychedelics; I just have sex. Then I suggest that everyone can take that approach.”
In a true Tantric event, vaginal weightlifting sex coach Anami says it’s all about deepening the level of intimacy and connection. “In a typical sexual encounter, people really have one goal, which is to get to orgasm and often to get there as quickly as possible,” Anami adds. “In Tantra, the goal is different. It’s about how deeply can we connect with each other. If we’re in the throes of ecstasy, why would you want that to end? Why wouldn’t you want that to go on and on and on and on?”
Anami says post-Tantric sex sends sparks flying. “Even when you finish technically having sex with each other, you still walk out of the bedroom or the car or wherever, and you still have this helm of electricity of desire within you,” she explains. “It’s like it never really stops the sense of making love to your partner. You always have this connection and buzz that’s going on between you.”
She says she views it as an expanded definition of orgasm spreading from the genitals through your body, through your emotions, and through your daily life so that all of your existence becomes this more sensual, engaged, expressive, pleasurable experience.
Anami, who has extensively studied Taoist and Tantric sex, says one of her first erotic encounters at age 18 was when she discovered she could use sex to elevate her state of consciousness. “We went away to my family cabin and spent the weekend there, just holed up inside,” Anami recalls of her 48-hour romantic rendezvous.
After experiencing scores of deep cervical and G-spot orgasms, she says when she returned to the daily grind on Monday, she felt an unshakable sense of peace and tranquility.
Before she knew it, she realized people were flocking to her and her attractiveness to others became palpably magnetic.
“The opposite happens when you’re not inhabiting your sexual energy and become an inverted vortex where you repel situations and people and abundance from you,” Anami adds.
Anami says there are additional Tantric and Taoist philosophies regarding the consumption of sexual bodily fluids to drink in the yin and the yang of a partner. In classic Taoist and Tantra philosophy, Anami says men are encouraged to retain their ejaculatory fluid to build stamina.
“I saw that the longer I got f–ked, the more orgasmically enlightened I became. Having hours-plus of sex was life-changing,” she insists.
Kim Anami offered some suggestions on Tantric sex in the “Let’s Have Tantric Sex” episode of her podcast “Orgasmic Enlightenment.”
“I look at it as being this elevation of sexual energy and conscious use of sexual energy,” Anami said in the podcast. “Tantra has its origins 5,000 years ago in India and there was a sect of matriarchal culture and they studied sex. They looked at it as a way to contact divine energy to touch the divine in ourselves and elevate the entire experience of sex.”
Anami says at the time, the Taoists were simultaneously studying how to use sex as medicine and a springboard into spiritual openness. She confesses the Taoist teachings resonated with her; however, she says she takes the best of both Taoist and Tantric philosophies and combines them. Having had powerful sexual experiences early on in her sexual journey, she knew she wanted to tell others how they could have the same type of life-altering sex. She adds that owning the power sex can bring an individual is nothing to be ignored.
Kim Anami: ‘Getting in Sync With the Energy’
“We are completely in sync with the energy that creates new life,” Anami said on the podcast. “Your main tools for practicing Tantra are really about presence and staying deeply connected throughout the experience. I believe that dancing or getting into flow while surfing is about getting in the zone. When you get into the zone, the experience begins to guide you and leads you to unseen realms of the universe. That’s how powerful it is.”
Anami, an avid surfer, compares Tantric sex to lining up in the right spot to catch a wave. “You paddle and that in itself is a whole learning experience. You get up and ride it but it’s propelling you,” she says. “The whole aim of Tantra is to get into the heart of your spiritual, sexual self. To me, they’re one and the same. I don’t separate sex and spirit. You’re opening up to a power greater than yourself and you’re tuning into that flow. The big goal is presence and connection.”
She adds that expressing feelings is another key component to better sex and delving into Tantra.
“We want to try to come together in a way that is supportive,” she concluded.