Family therapist’s guide to online divorce counseling

When a marriage does not work, couples may be forced to separate. To most people, the end of a marriage can be so stressful, full of guilt, grief, confusion, and fear, but it can come as a big relief to some.  

Where children are involved, divorce can be one of the most challenging things for couples. When faced with a divorce, most couples go for divorce online counseling to get on track before and after a divorce.

What causes divorce?

Between 40-50% of marriages in the United States are likely to go through a divorce. But what is the main reason why most couples choose to divorce?

  • No commitment: Marrying too young or a couple lacking commitment is one reason most marriages are likely to end in divorce.
  • One of the partners having an affair outside marriage
  • A couple having issues with an unfair division of labor
  • Drug addiction
  • Emotional and physical abuse
  • Couples engaging in money and financial arguments
  • Poor communication between partners

Can you predict a divorce?

When couples walk down the aisle, it may not be easy to predict the possibility of a divorce. However, some signs may indicate the possibility of a divorce. Divorce results from a stream of issues in marriages and how partners relate to each other. The four main indicators of divorce include:

  • Criticism: couples are engaging in frequent criticism without weighing the impact of their statements.
  • Lack of respect and contempt: when partners don’t show respect to each other, they are more likely to divorce.
  • Not taking responsibility for mistakes: When couples ignore taking responsibility for what they have done, it is not easy to agree on some issues, and this can often result in separation and eventually a divorce.
  • Not talking it out: This is where couples are constantly stonewalling or avoiding discussing problems they face. It makes it impossible to move on or solve marriage issues when both parents are not willing to talk.

When should you seek divorce counseling?

If you suspect a divorce or feel like your marriage is on the rocks, it is always important to talk it out with a counselor. Sometimes you may not be sure that divorce is the right thing for you, which means you should look for some signs that point towards that direction. Here are some signs that you should reach out to divorce counseling:

  • You experience excessive anxiety and worry
  • Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
  • Having sleepless nights
  • You feel unworthy of happiness and love
  • You lose or gain weight
  • You have problems controlling anger and rage
  • Feeling like you are disappointed
  • Suicidal attempts and ideation
  • Chronic depression

Divorce counseling can help you in many ways. However, before you can seek divorce counseling, you must give yourself some time to grieve the relationship’s loss. The divorce process is not meant to be tackled alone. You will need your family, friends, support group, and a therapist to help you in the process.

When you feel like you need help to go through a divorce, you can opt for individual therapy, couples therapy, and community support. 

Divorce is a long process that involves denial, pain, anger, guilt, and depression. If you find it uneasy dealing with your divorce, you should reach out for help from a certified counselor. A marriage counselor will offer relationship coaching and help you understand why your marriage failed so that you can avoid any future mistakes when you move on.