Four Women – Four Stories – One Amazing Message

 

            If you see more pink than usual this month it’s because October is breast cancer awareness month and pink is the color for that support. Awareness is essential because breast cancer is the most common cancer in women – and it strikes young and old alike. The earlier it is detected, the greater the chance for survival. “We are detecting it so much earlier due to the advancements in technology and that’s the reason why about 95 percent of breast cancer patients survive it,” says Jeri Millard, who runs “In the Pink,” a new boutique for women living with cancer. It is located at 522 North Third St., Jacksonville, Beach. www.jaxinthepink.com.

            “In the United States this year, more than 200,000 people will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 40,000 people will die from the disease,” says Millard, who also serves as the chair of the Beaches Making Strides Against Breast Cancer committee. “As we continue to educate women and young girls about the disease, this number will decrease due to knowledge, which in turn leads to early detection.”

            And that color pink? Don’t underestimate its importance to survivors and their loved ones. Says 26-year-old breast cancer survivor Ashley Harris, “For me, it’s more than just a color or even a support ribbon; it’s a statement – a declaration that yes, this horrible thing has happened to me and no, it will not even slow down, let alone defeat me. It’s my sign to the world that I’m not scared, I’m not laying down, and no matter how hard it gets, I’m still beautiful, unique, and independent.”

            In this feature you will meet Ashley and other breast cancer survivors. Each woman found her lump during a self breast exam.

 If you think you are too young or too uncomfortable or too whatever to do a breast exam, think again. That’s the life line that holds these determined ladies together.

 

 

Ashley Harris

 

“I can never ever be the same as I was before I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. I never want to be.”

 

            Ashley Harris is a critical care nurse, wife and mom. At age 26, she is also a breast cancer survivor. She has no family history of breast cancer; her doctor told her that her self exams saved her life.

            “I found the lump by being a good girl and doing my monthly self exams,” says Harris. From the ultrasound results, her doctor didn’t think it was anything but chose to be overly precautious and ordered both a mammogram and a biopsy. “Two days later my doctor called and told me that it was breast cancer and that I had saved my own life,” she says. Her son Barron was 18-months-old at the time.

            Harris and her husband, JB, did research and chose to have her surgery and treatment at MD Anderson in Orlando. “I had bilateral mastectomies followed by six months of chemotherapy, six weeks of radiation, and I am still taking Herceptin,” says Harris. The decision to remove both breasts was easy. “Take them off; get them away from me, because I don’t want to stress about them for the rest of my life,” was her response. The worst for her was the radiation. “Imagine the worst burn of your life and put it in your arm pit,” she says.

            She described the first days after diagnosis as scary and overwhelming. “I was 25 and had my mortality held up in front of me,” she says. After receiving a timely email, Harris made the choice to look at the bright side of her situation, be positive and keep a sense of humor.

            During her surgery and treatment Harris says that she received an amazing amount of help from family that both she and her husband have in town. She also received emotional support from co-workers at Baptist Beaches South where she works. They provided meals, sent cards and even made her a special quilt. “I never expected anything yet they were like a second family for me,” says Harris. She calls them her support group since there was no one her age at the support groups she attended. “Support groups were hard for me – I was 25 and had a hard time relating to women in their thirties, forties, and fifties,” she says.

            Chemo wasn’t fun with a one year old, and her doctors put her into menopause to protect her ovaries for possible future pregnancies. So she had hot flashes and mood swings to add to the mix. Harris was delighted to have her mother-in-law spend five days a week with them taking care of Barron. “All I wanted to do was sleep and drink milkshakes,” Harris remembers. “I couldn’t have done this as a single parent with no family.”

            She also says that the thought of losing her hair was more daunting than the actual act. She wore a wig once and then went bareheaded. “I didn’t want to even wear a scarf because it made me feel like a cancer patient,” she says. Her prosthesis is a different matter; wearing that has been hard. “I can’t wear spaghetti strap tops and halters – and I no longer have cleavage,” says Harris. “I had to reevaluate the way I dressed and I wasn’t prepared for that.” Her reconstruction surgery is planned for this fall; her stomach fat will provide the breast tissue. “I get a boob job and a tummy tuck all at once,” she jokes.

            Harris and JB were talking about having another baby at the time of her diagnosis. Her doctor has given her a five year window before she can get pregnant and that gives them time to reevaluate their plans. “My cancer was hormone sensitive. I know how crazy my hormones get when I’m pregnant and I’m not sure that it’s worth the risk to me and my family. I want to be here to see Barron graduate from college,” she says.

            That determination can be a role model for all. Harris recently reflected on her cancer journey in an email to family and friends:      

“Cancer has affected my life in more ways that I could ever have imagined. It changed my hair-do, my energy level, my appreciation of friends and family, my view of my own mortality, my plans for the future and my body-image just to name a few. The exciting thing is that I'm happy about it all. I can never ever be the same as I was before I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. I never want to be. I am, down to the core of my soul, happy with the way my life is right now, the ups and downs, the frustrations and joys. For the first time in nearly a year, since June 20, 2008, the day my world was tossed in a blender, I am content with every aspect of my life. I almost forgot what it felt like.”   

           

 

Cynthia Launey

 

“I may look like a road map and still be in pain, but I’ve met people that I never would have met and I do appreciate things that I would have taken for granted.”

 

            Nine years ago after finding her breast lump herself, Cynthia Launey had a double mastectomy, reconstruction and chemo. The lymph node involvement appeared to involve such tiny cells that radiation wasn’t required. “I was never sick with the chemo,” says Launey, age 54, who is a runner and kept racing throughout chemo treatments. She and her husband Roger even ran in Race for the Cure two days after a chemo treatment. “I still beat him,” she loves to say.

Once done with that cancer episode, Launey says she breezed along for nine years. “After a while you stop thinking about it and think that maybe you really did beat it,” she says.

            She was wrong.

In January of 2008, as part of a research study at Mayo Clinic for osteopenia, a physician’s assistant found a lump under Launey’s arm. “I’ll never forget the look on her face,” says Launey. “I told her ‘don’t look at me that way.’” Launey immediately went for a sonogram.

She remembers getting the call. “I was driving by Stein Mart on Atlantic when the call came,” says Launey. “The doctor told me they were pretty sure it was cancer.” They took five lymph nodes and said the cancer hadn’t metastasized; they were dormant cells from nine years before. “If I had done the radiation with my first cancer, this might not have happened,” she says.

            This time the treatment plan included chemo and radiation. “The radiation has been the worst,” she says. Her chest radiation caused the implants to harden and Launey has had a second reconstruction. She has also developed lymphedema, the condition that occurs when lymph fluid collects in tissues and causes swelling. While treatable, lymphedema can be uncomfortable and painful. “I wear a compression sleeve and have limited range of motion in my left arm, but to look at me you wouldn’t know that I have lymphedema,” says Launey.

Hair loss emotions hard were hard as well. “I’ve always been all about my hair,” admits Launey. “I always wore a wig and even when I ran I had a ball cap with a pony tail attached.”

            Cancer the second-time-around is almost worst than the first. “Now I wait for the other shoe to drop,” she says. “Once it came back I feel like no one can tell me that I’m okay or cured.”

            Throughout the ordeal, Roger’s support has been constant. “He travels most of the week, but he always arranged his schedule to go to my doctor’s appointment and chemo,” says Launey. On a recent cruise, before her latest surgery, Roger became ill. “When we got home he had triple bypass surgery,” says Launey. They now give emotional support to each other. “I have my days and my pity parties but I have a great husband and daughters.” The Launeys have two grown daughters, Melissa and Sarah.

            “I may look like a road map and still be in pain, but I’ve met people that I never would have met and I do appreciate things that I would have taken for granted,” she says. And while Launey believes that women with breast cancer need to find someone who has been through it, because no one else really understands, she also just tries to feel normal.

“I say that I want my life to be normal again, and then I realize that I have a new normal,” says Launey. “That would be my advice to others – find your new normal.”

           

             

Lena Jordan

 

“I was sick but I had laughter in my heart. I couldn’t let cancer get control of my spirit because I knew I would dwindle if it did.”

           

            Lena Jordan danced at a Thanksgiving Dinner held by the Sisters Network of Northeast Florida just a few days after her mastectomy, much to the surprise of those around her. That’s because Jordan faced her breast cancer diagnosis with a fierce combination of faith and determination.

            After several abnormal mammograms and being told the abnormality was a calcification, Jordan found the lump herself. Not only that but the area itself hurt so much that she didn’t want another mammogram for fear that it would hurt more, and she opted for an ultrasound. When the lumpectomy was done, Jordan actually watched the whole procedure. “They thought I was under sedation but I wasn’t,” says Jordan. “I watched the whole thing and then told the surgeon that he was a pretty good seamstress!”

            When the cancer was confirmed Jordan remembers her reaction: “I crossed my legs, folded my arms and said to my doctor ‘what are we going to do?’” Because it was an infiltrating carcinoma and had already veined out into the breast tissue, Jordan and her husband Wayne opted for a mastectomy, which she had in early November of 2000. She and her husband also decided that Jordan wouldn’t have reconstruction. While at first she hid her scars from her husband, one day he comforted her by saying, “You were in a battle for your life and those are your battle scars – they are nothing to be ashamed of.”

            Jordan says her Christian faith helped her fight that battle. “I prayed that I would not be faint in spirit, mind or body,” says Jordan. “And even though I wouldn’t wish cancer on anyone, I believe that having a positive attitude and trusting God to do the impossible helped me through. I believe that because of my doctors and support and prayers from family (she has two daughters and at her diagnosis had a new granddaughter), friends and my church that I’m here today.”

            She started chemo in December 2000 and suffered throughout. Among other things she had thrush after each treatment. Before January 2001 her hair was out. “It started coming out and I just spent the day pulling it out,” Jordan remembers. “When my husband got home I was wearing a hat and started crying. He was prepared for my hair loss, but I wasn’t.”

            And though sick, Jordan stayed determined. “I was sick but I had laughter in my heart,” she says. “I couldn’t let cancer get control of my spirit because I knew I would dwindle if it did.” So when friends would come to visit looking somber, Jordan would cheer them up with a joke or a smile.

            Now nine years later, Jordan goes for a mammogram every six months. She stays involved locally with the Sisters Network of Northeast Florida, a national support group for African American women who have survived breast cancer.  (www.sistersnetworkinc.org). Jordan  “We speak at churches, health fairs and symposiums,” says Jordan. “We tell people about breast cancer and encourage breast self exams.” found their support very helpful. “Before my chemo they told me what to expect, not to scare me but to inform and help me,” she says. And now she helps others.

 

 

Robin Kettlewell

 

“I felt sorry for myself and asked ‘why me’ for about ten minutes. I wasn’t really shocked; I just wanted to get on with the game. I am a big believer in having a good attitude.”

 

            Currently undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, Robin Kettlewell proudly sports her bald head. “I feel like going bald helps raise cancer awareness,” says Kettlewell, who at age 46 was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in May of this year. She finds that women are more likely to ask her about her cancer when they see her hairless and uncovered. “They realize that if it happened to me, it can happen to them,” she says. And she hopes that realization makes women more proactive about self exams.

            Kettlewell discovered her lump herself; she was at her desk and just happened to reach up and feel the small, firm lump. “I just knew in my mind what it was,” she remembers. Kettlewell has always done self exams and annual mammograms and used to wonder if she would even recognize what a breast lump felt like. “You just know,” she says now. “It felt different and wrong.”

            She immediately went to the breast center at Baptist Health’s downtown location; while the lump didn’t show on a mammogram, an ultrasound showed a solid black mass and a biopsy was immediately done. Since the results would take a few days, Kettlewell and her boyfriend Perry Donahoo decided to take their already planned motorcycle trip to the Florida Keys, which is where Kettlewell received the phone call confirming the cancer.

            “I felt sorry for myself and asked ‘why me’ for about ten minutes,” she says. “I wasn’t really shocked; I just wanted to get on with the game. I am a big believer in having a good attitude. Something told me to be very concerned and have the lump removed.” In fact, the tumor had grown in size in the few weeks before diagnosis and surgery, and when sent off for testing, the tumor was identified as being very aggressive. A bilateral MRI revealed a precancerous condition in her other breast as well.

            Chemotherapy began in July and Kettlewell remembers watching the first drip of chemo and tearing up over such toxic elements going into her body. But she has been able to continue to work, ride her Harley-Davidson and play golf. “The hardest thing is listening to my body and knowing when to slow down and relax.” After four months of chemotherapy she plans to have bilateral mastectomies with reconstruction. “I figure that five months of hell is worth it for a lifetime of health,” she says.

            Kettlewell urges women to be diligent with self breast exams. “No one knows your body like you do,” she says. A good support system is also essential. “My boyfriend has been a rock through this,” says Kettlewell. She also credits her dog Deuce for support. “It’s hard to be upset when you have a happy loving dog around you,” she says. Because she has no family locally, Kettlewell started a blog to keep family and friends updated. Not only has it been therapeutic to share thoughts, but Donahoo also blogs on the site. http://web.me.com/robinkettlewell.

            Kettlewell dealt with her hair loss by first cutting it short and dyeing it hot pink; then she turned that into a Mohawk. She even turned her hair loss into something positive by donating it to Locks of Love. And while Kettlewell tried covering her bald head at first, she made the decision to stay hairless and uncovered. Since she loves golf, Kettlewell says that one of her goals is to get involved with the Pink Links program.

And her sense of humor shines when she talks about a possible Halloween (her favorite holiday) costume – wearing a grass skirt, and a golf tee, and writing “Titlest” on her head.